The “1-Up” AKA “Super Mario Bros. Shot” is a half shot of Midori melon liqueur and a half shot of Malibu Rum.  Got this from the fabulous Drunken Moogle.

Not a barn burner, but damn is it fun on a hot pre-summer day like today where all I want to do is play retro video games on Wii and finally swim in my condo’s pool.  I’ve been here nearly three years and have never once swam in it.  Not to be a brat, but I blame the total lack of vibe.  I don’t think I’ve seen anyone ever in it.  It looks great, it’s there, it’s clean, but like the guy at the party no one’s talking to, you start to think there’s a reason you’re just not seeing.  I’ve tried too many times to date those wounded sparrows to believe otherwise.

Hey, y’all want an entirely unadvisabely fun Super Mario Bros. drinking game?

Get two players.  You never drink while you’re playing.  How well you play directly affects how the other person drinks.  It’s already a little dangerous, non?

RULE #1:  You lose a life, you drink.

RULE #2:  You change sizes (big to small, small to big), your partner drinks.

RULE #3:  You get the fireballs, your partner drinks your drink.

RULE #4:  You finish a level, your partner drinks (and doesn’t stop drinking) until all the seconds and coins have been counted.

Finally, my personal coup de grace…

RULE #5:  You get star power, your partner waterfalls his drink for as long as the star lasts.

Paul and I test drove this game the other night, and it did not end well for me.  He was really good, and I haven’t played in over 20 years.  The drunker I got, the worse I played.  I eventually just got two steps into the warp tube underworld and died at the first turtle.  Drink again!

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Written by Adam Sass

Adam Sass

ADAM SASS is a journalist and copy editor for Mediaplanet, which prints in USA Today. His short story appeared in the anthology STARLING SCI-FI: NEW TALES OF THE BEYOND and was nominated for Best Science Fiction Story by Writer’s Digest. He lives in New York City with his husband and two dachshunds.

Keep up with Adam’s pop culture blogging at GeeksOut.org and on his (over)active Twitter: @TheAdamSass.