Chris Pratt

Here is Adam’s answers to the common questions that will be brought up by our nosy family and friends.  Feel free to invent your own.

 

What Does the Man Do?
Right now, he’s a recurring cast member on the very under-appreciated show Parks and Recreation. Chris Pratt is the kind of actor who charms up a low-level project.  Not low-quality, low-level.  He did a bright spot in the Strangers with Candy movie, recurred on the last season of The O.C., and was a series regular on the soapy WB show Everwood. I know, Aunt Barb, I know, scoff away at this seemingly unimpressive resume, you just laughed your way right out of Table One.  Say hello to our work acquaintances at Table Twenty.

Before you all start in on me for giving the honor of Mr. October to someone who is at first glance just another WB/TV actor, let me say this: my baby’s got talent.  One day, he’s gonna break out and get some pedigree.

Chris falls under my very peculiar type of Jock Gone Slightly to Seed.  Here’s a picture of him from Everwood during his “prime”:

Chris Pratt Prime

What a sun-dappled cutie!  On Parks, you can see he’s put on some pounds, got a receding hairline and just generally looks older.  I say more for me.

Where Did You Two Meet?
At Book Soup on Sunset.  We were standing in line, waiting to get our copies of “Catching the Big Fish” signed by David Lynch.  After a few coy moments of hesitation, I finally turned to him and told him I was a big fan of his.  He was gracious, but still with that brash sense of humor that separates his ilk from those among the “too nice.”  We got to discussing Lynch (“yes, I do think his switch to digital makes him shoot easier and more comfortably, but what lushness of image will suffer?”), and then conversation turned to his ex-girlfriend, co-star of Everwood and current regular on Brothers and Sisters, Emily Van Camp.  She always hated watching Lynch movies with him.  She thought he was interested only in the tawdry lesbian sex scene in Mulholland Drive. I offered up innocently that I served her in my cafe once, and she was rude and short.  Plus, she only ordered a free glass of water.  He was disgusted at her cheapness.  “It happens all the time,” I said.

Smiles. A meaningful moment of silence.  “HELLO THERE!” bellowed David Lynch from the front table. I was next.  Flush with embarrassment, I got my book signed and turned to leave.  It was at that point, Chris suggested we get more than just a free cup of water at the coffee shop next door.

So…How Was the Wedding?
What a joy!  We sprung for an open bar, and we all got red-faced.  His family was hilarious!  His brother, the best man, gave a curse-ridden toast that everyone enjoyed.  Apparently, he worked for Bubba Gump Shrimp Company in Hawaii before coming to Hollywood!  Oh, there was so much laughter all through the night.  And Amy Sedaris showed up!

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Written by Adam Sass

Adam Sass

ADAM SASS is a journalist and copy editor for Mediaplanet, which prints in USA Today. His short story appeared in the anthology STARLING SCI-FI: NEW TALES OF THE BEYOND and was nominated for Best Science Fiction Story by Writer’s Digest. He lives in New York City with his husband and two dachshunds.

Keep up with Adam’s pop culture blogging at GeeksOut.org and on his (over)active Twitter: @TheAdamSass.